Still Alive and Gaming

 So, I actually played a game of T2K (V4) at the Philadelphia Area Gaming Expo (PAGE 2).

The referee and the other players were excellent.

I did my best, which probably wasn't all that great.

Our characters escaped from the Kalisz debacle, picked up three Polish refugee children, tried (unsuccessfully) to return the kids to a nearby relative, bribed our way across a Russian-guarded bridge and then tried (unsuccessfully) to hand them over to a Polish church.  

We then ran into a large group of Russians that shot up our Humvee.  But, we killed their LT and put two of their troops down, at which point they surrendered.  We patched up the two wounded troops, so they let us leave on foot.

At this point, we were ten minutes short of our end time, so we declared it a "Good Game", shook hands all around and headed home.

All in all, a GREAT game.  I had a blast!

Time Flies, Whether You're Having Fun or Not

 Hard to believe that it's been over three years since I last posted here.

LOTS of changes.

It's now 41 months since Leah died.

I'm still not in a place, emotionally, to play or referee T2K.  Maybe I will be in the future, but almost certainly not in the NEAR future...

I have remarried and moved.  My new wife, Joanne, is a wonderful woman.  I think Leah would have liked her.  We spent about a year getting to know one another and making sure that our lives and households could be merged and meshed.  We each sold our own homes and bought a new house together.

Moving, of course is difficult and stressful, especially as an adult with a house full of stuff.  I still remember being able to pack all of my personal possessions (sans furniture) in a single car!  I know my gaming stuff would fill more than one car, now.

I did move further away from my office, so I am planning to retire in two years, when I turn 62, which is about six years earlier than I had thought I would.  But, I am fortunate to be in a financial situation that will allow me to retire on my own schedule, and I'm aware of increasing health issues as I get older, so I want to be able to enjoy my 'golden years' for as long as I can.  Maybe once I retire, I will start a T2K game up.

I did attend Traveller Con in Lancaster, PA this past weekend.  My new house is close enough to Lancaster that I was able to drive up on Saturday, just for the day.  I had a great time catching up with old friends and making a few new ones.  I hope to run a game or two next year.

If you aren't aware, the Traveller and T2K IP have been sold by Marc Miller to Mongoose Publishing in the UK.  Mongoose has been doing their own, licensed, version of Traveller for many years now, and they have been producing supplements on a regular basis.  Mongoose has said that they will continue to license T2K to Free League Publishing.  Mongoose is also licensing Traveller miniatures to 2nd Dynasty, which is producing a variety of miniatures and vehicles for 3d printing and tabletop wargaming, as well as ships in a variety of scales for tabletop gaming.  They've also done a Type S Scout and a BEOWOLF-class free trader for 28mm tabletop gaming.  They have been successfully crowdfunding Traveller projects, including one that just funded a week or so ago...

Another reason I haven't been writing or gaming is that Joanne and I are having major projects done around the house, only one of which is completely finished.  Three are still in progress and three more (one small and two large) haven't even started yet.  All of the projects ran, or are running FAR behind schedule, so the stress of work going on, finding problems with work that was done, or waiting for work to be done, isn't really helping...

Otherwise, my life is fine.  I am mostly content and often happy, two states of mind that I would have thought unobtainable 41 months ago.

Stay tuned.

The Seven Things - May 18-19

So,

I failed to do even seven things yesterday:

1 - Showered, shaved, brushed my teeth in the morning!

2 - Finished filling out the paperwork for Leah's death benefits (this may have impacted my ability to do other stuff...)

3 - Paid all the monthly bills

4 - Arranged for a friend to come over and help me move the king-sized mattress out of our old bedroom (I didn't want to EVER sleep on it again, and I may never sleep in that bedroom again - time will tell).\

5 - Ate three meals

6 - Visited with a friend (which mostly involved eating dinner)

Today was better:

1 - Showered, shaved, brushed my teeth in the morning

2 - Took all of Leah's summer-weight, professional clothing to the cleaner

3- Confirmed with the organization that they will be ready to receive Leah's summer-weight, professional clothing on Friday (100+ items)

4 - Ate three meals

5 - Talked to a co-worker for a LONG time

6 - Visited with a friend of Leah's

7 - Walked around a nature preserve that I had suggested visiting several times, but Leah's knee really kept us away from...

The seven things - May 17th

So, here are today's seven things (I also did seven yesterday, but I've already forgotten them...):

- Ate three meals

- Filled one car (the Subaru) with gas

- Got my hair cut

- Took a shower (at 9:30 p.m.), shaved and brushed my teeth (at 8:30 p.m.)

- Shopped (unsuccessfully) for cabinets and comforters

- Started a new 3D print and painted a couple of existing prints

- Did some laundry and decided to throw out one thing rather than wash it and donate it

Seven Things

 So, one of the pieces of advice that I have run across several times is that writing down a daily list of accomplishments is a good idea.  Most of the advice has been along the lines of "write down ten things you did today" or 'write down ten things you are grateful for".

So, I'm going to give it a shot, but I'm only going to do seven things a day.

Here is yesterday's list:

1. Fixed a loose piece on Leah's sewing machine cabinet, which I'm now using for my primary computer desk.  I know we bought this cabinet, used, not long after we got married, and it's probably the only piece of furniture that I still own from the early days.   
2. Moved money from Leah's savings into our joint savings to pay for a variety of expenses, both past and future.
3. Ate breakfast
4. Shredded a full shredder basket worth of paper
5. Went to Target and bought some minor things I needed and also bought some food.
6. Tried to work in the yard, but just couldn't.  Working in the yard and playing an online computer game were the last two things Leah and I did before she fell ill.
7. Went to a friend's house and ate a reasonably healthy dinner.

Here is today's list:

1. Got up at my (new) regular time
2. Cooked and ate breakfast
3. Dealt with ALL the thank you cards for every condolence card I've received so far
4. Did laundry
5. Worked on some 3D printing
6. Worked on Leah's clothes
7. Looked at the paperwork from Leah's office about her death benefits.  It's a LOT of paper (close to an inch thick stack).  Can't actually deal with it today.  Will call her HR contact on Monday to discuss it.

______ for _____ values of ______

Sometime in the last few years, I have started using the phrase, "_____ for ____ values of ____".  For example, at the end of the work day, Leah generally asked me, "How did your day go?", to which I would respond, "Fine, for most values of fine", or "Great, for some values of great".  I often used it to describe my progress (or frustration at my lack of progress) during a project - "Fine, for only a few values of fine", or "Great, for one value of great".

This experience sucks for ALL values of suckage.

Fortunately, it has begun sucking less.  

I drove from the Washington, DC area, where my wife and I lived, to central Arkansas to bury her.  It's about a 16 hour drive, if you could do it non-stop, which I last did circa 2005.  Ever since then, Leah and I always did the trip over two days, and this journey was no exception.  One thing about driving that far, alone, is that you are, of course, alone with your thoughts and feelings, with nothing to really distract you unless you bring your own music or audiobooks (unless you are a BIG fan of religious programming, gospel music, or country music - which I am not).

I brought a large collection of audiobooks with me, many of which I found did NOT work well in an audio format.  One that DID work well for me (your mileage may vary), is Option B by Sheryl Sandberg.  Ms. Sandberg is the COO of Facebook.  She wrote Option B after losing her husband with no warning whatsoever.  I, at least, had a several hours warning that Leah's death was a possibility, then a few hours of knowing that her death was likely.  I then had a short span of time to process that her death was certain and she had only minutes, perhaps hours, but certainly not days, before she died.

Of course, processing such immense, life-altering, life-shattering knowledge can't happen in a span of minutes, hours, or frankly, even days or weeks.

I hope that writing this blog will help me process this knowledge.

Sad News

So, I know I haven't posted anything in a while.  First, I was trying to learn the V4 Alpha rules and decide how much I liked them and if I could even run a game using them.

Then, just as I was getting ready to start posting Alpha rules-based stuff, the Beta came out, so I went back to square one.

Then, yesterday, April 28, 2021, my wife of 35 years, Leah, passed away, completely unexpectedly and after only a brief (2 day) illness.  Needless to say my life has been shattered and I just can't see playing T2K anytime soon.

In a very real sense, Leah made T2K fun for me back in the V1 days.  She wasn't interested in playing, but she loved hosting the games and listening to the stories our group created.  Her after-game critiques helped me be a better T2K referee.

Ultimately, she did become a Dungeon Master for several years, and was a far better DM/GM than I was.  She was never going to be interested in PLAYING T2K, but she was looking forward to hosting games and even attending conventions, both RPG-related and wargame related.  

I look forward to resuming gaming and writing, but I have no idea when that will happen, or even if it WILL happen.  Please stand by.